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Apr 27

Who Are You Following

“It’s hard to improve when you have no one but yourself to follow.”

— John Maxwell

A self-taught student doesn’t learn nearly as much as an  apprentice who has the luxury of watching a master work. Models inspire personal growth by setting an example worth following, sharing the wisdom of experience, and providing encouragement and support. Without outside input, personal development stagnates, whereas the exhortation of a coach continually challenges a student or mentee to grow.  For us, as leaders, if we are to become all that God intended us to be, to fully live up to our potential, we need to find models that are ahead of us in life to learn from.

When I took the CEO job at Life Options, I knew I was behind the eight ball. I didn’t have any training leading a pregancy center and I had no clue what being a leader meant.  I found two great mentors–one was the President of CareNet, our affiliate organization.  I had him on speed dial and we were on a first name basis for awhile. I still call my other mentor when I need to negotiate waters that I haven’t floated in before, or when I need some new ideas. This woman leads seven, soon to be eight, pregnancy medical centers!  Of course, I tap into the mentors on the John Maxwell Teaching team often, too. All of these people changed, and are still changing,  my life by allowing me to tap into their wisdom and expertise.

I believe accountability is a necessary part of following someone else. Personally,  I can set goals until the cows come home, but if I don’t have someone to hold my feet to the fire in certain areas, I don’t accomplish much. Isn’t that fascinating, because goal achieving shouldn’t be hard for me–I am performance driven. Ooookkkaaaaayyyy….maybe in the areas that I want to be.  I’ve set goals before in January…hey! It’s the new year! April  has come and  I found  myself looking at those for the first time since January.   A good mentor or coach reminds me of my goals and inspires me to reach them.

What does a good mentor or coach look like?  This list, from one of John Maxwell’s books, is not exhaustive–I’m sure you can think of different attributes that you may like:

1.  A good mentor or coach is someone who walks the talk. Their life should reflect high standards.
2.  They need to be available to spend time with you and be great listeners.
3.  A good mentor possesses wisdom and they are continually learning, as well.
4.  They provide friendship and support, yet are not afraid to gently push you toward growth into your fullest potential.
5.  A good coach meets people where they are and moves them to where they want to be.

A good mentee comes prepared when meeting their mentor or coach, as well.  Make the most of this time that you have with them by preparing questions before your meeting. If you’ve been given homework or are being accountable to them for a goal–be ready.

One last thing about following someone else or modeling for others. In his book, “The Power of the Other, ” by Henry Cloud, he discusses corner four relationships.  A corner four relationship is when you are being your real self with someone else’s real self. It is the place of growth, real performance, meaning, and all things good in life. These relationships are proven to scientifically rewire our brains causing us to think on higher levels. A good mentoring  or coaching relationship precipitates this process. This should excite everyone to find someone to follow,  or to get a good mentoring or mastermind group to participate in.  Change can be difficult on our own, but to have someone to share growth and change with, can be exhilarating…and brain changing!