“Comparison is the thief of joy.”
Norma is the default voice inside my head that seeks to keep me in the status quo. She wants me to remain “normal”, whatever the heck that means. She always likes to keep me in my comfort zone and she’s quite vocal when I attempt new things. That totally rocks her boat. Norma always chatters big time after I speak somewhere. She can be vicious and loves to compare me with others. Most of the time, she is my own worst enemy.
I asked a friend and pastor to weigh in on this topic of comparison. These were some of his words, “Comparison leads down two darker paths; pride and covetousness. If we compare and think ourselves better, we become proud and haughty. Not good. If we see that we fall short and covet to have what others have, we may resort to illegitimate means to obtain what they have, or just become depressed, feeling that our desires are out of our reach. It’s a dangerous game to play, unless you have a serious heart check about why you’re doing it.” Great wisdom.
On the other hand, comparison can be good if we are doing it to learn from others. As leaders, if we compare ourselves to those who are farther along the path than we are, we can become better leaders. If I view others as better than I with the humility to learn, comparison can be beneficial.
However, certain times can invoke comparison right off. All those gatherings with family during this graduation/wedding season can bring up past issues. Even the parties with friends can cause comparison. Certain Facebook posts cause Norma to tease…or maybe it’s just me.
How do I shut Norma up in these instances?
First, I remember my uniqueness. Our DNA is a 5-million-character code that paints a picture of each one of us. That same code has never existed and never will again. Each person has their own unique set of fingerprints. There has never been another created like each one of us and never will be. We are one of a kind with unique gifts and talents.
Second, since I am a Christian, Ephesians 1:4 tells me that Christ chose me before the foundation of the universe (Me? He chose me?). I don’t have to clean up, be good enough, or become something other than I am, to be loved by Him. I am made in His image, He knows my short-comings and accepts me as I am. Hallelujah! He also gave me my strengths, assets and talents…and there are many of them.
Ephesians 3:10 tells me that I am His Masterpiece! Leonardo diVinci painted only one Mona Lisa. God made only one me. And only one you.
Thirdly, I ask myself if my best friends would say what I was thinking or saying about me. Would they call me that? Would they say that about me? Not my best friends. I need to have mercy on me and stop punishing myself for not being somebody else.
Lastly, I appreciate who I am and what I have. I am still learning this process. I have written a list of all the good about me and read that list daily. When Norma gets out of control, I read her that list. Norma usually doesn’t argue with the truth.
You may have more ways to crush comparison of yourself with others. I would love to hear them. I don’t believe we can have too many tools in our arsenal to build ourselves up to become all that we can be.
I will end on this note–comparison with myself brings improvement, comparison with others brings discontent. Purpose to not let Norma steal your joy and peace. Remember your own uniqueness.
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