“Attachment is the source of all suffering.”
–Buddha
Attachment is a feeling that binds one to a person, thing, cause, ideal, or the like. It is the state of being attached. Many of us have new goals for 2019 and we’re excited about them! If we are going to achieve those goals, we’re going to have to make some changes. If we think the way we always have, we’ll always get what we’ve already gotten.
Some of those changes may not be obvious, so we’re going to have to do some reflecting and deep digging to find out what needs to be changed…or what needs to be let go of. What are you attached to? We have all sorts of commitments, ideals and beliefs to live the life that we are currently living. If we want to change our current results, significant change is necessary. “That’s just the way I am” is not going to get you improved results.
“We don’t attach to people or things, we attach to uninvestigated concepts that we
believe to be true at the moment.” Katie Byron
Since weight loss is the number one New Year’s Resolution, let me use that as an example. If you going to lose weight, you’re going to have to change the way you shop, cook, the way you eat, what you eat and you may want to add exercise to make it easier.
Geesh, it’s really hard to watch football without mountains of popcorn and maybe Life Saver Gummies…that’s going to have to change. Not because I need change, but I’m speaking for a friend. (hahahaha) Netflix binges that are accompanied with high calorie snacks may need to go by the wayside until new snackings habits are discovered.
If you want to enhance your marriage. discover a new and better relationship, have richer communicate with your kids, make more money, or whatever it is you desire, you will have to be open to new and improved ways of thinking and relating. If we are stuck in our old ways, we can’t see the new opportunities or mindset shifts that can be ours.
AND we don’t stay the same, we move forward into growth or backward into sameness and/or safety. As my friend and mentor, Paul, says, “Nothing in the universe stays the same–it either grows or disintegrates.”
So how do we unattach? Here’s what I have done (and am still doing):
1. Identify what you are holding onto that isn’t serving you anymore. What is not working in your life? What is your perception of what is holding you back? It’s usually something that follows the word “because.” I can’t dothis,because…. This won’t work, because… That will never happen, because…Listen for those sentences.
2. Lighten up. I can tell you one thing that needs to be dumped and that is your past. Harvest the good from your past and let go of the rest. Let go of old mindsets, self-created illusions and assumptions that no longer serve you. Leave old resentments, judgments and being offended behind–they weigh more than you imagine. (That will be your first 10 pounds of weight loss. You’re welcome:)
3. “Stop grasping at the things that are Mine.” Yeah, God told me that last year and I’m still trying to get it. Open your grasp and let go of things that you can’t control. Let go of the way you’ve always done everything and be open to change. Get adventurous! Venture out of your comfort zone.
When was the last time you tried something new? You have choices. You can choose to change and infinitely enhance your life. You can live a life of joy and adventure, or you can step back into “That’s just the way I am.” And 2020 will be here before you know it, and everything will be the same as 2018… or even 2017.
Does this email sound tough and mean? I wouldn’t be writing about this if I didn’t have personal attachments to deal with. Just when I think I have arrived, Attachment #257 rears its ugly head.
AND I know you. Your potential is limitless and you wouldn’t be on this email list if you didn’t want something more. I believe in you. You have so much more value than you are giving yourself credit for. The world needs all of your gifts and talents…badly. Not only that, but you deserve to live the freedom that living without attachments will bring you.
Wholeheartedly yours,
Jan
Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team
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