Look in the Mirror to Lead Well

Dennis had a vacation last week and while riding in the car we listened to a great podcast by Andy Stanley on self leadership. I wanted to share his concepts with you.  Andy said that the greatest leadership challenge was in the mirror.  #Truth…in my life anyway.  If I cannot lead myself well, how am I to lead others? He gave three points that he believes helps him conquer self.

1. I will not lie to myself even when it hurts. The easiest person to deceive is me.  I (Jan) have written about blind spots before. Blind spots are those areas that we can’t see, but often everyone else can. The latest blind spot revealed to me is that I am not gentle when it comes to confrontation. WHAT?  I KNOW that’s not true. Maybe in my own eyes. I have to be open to learning about areas in my life where I may be fibbing to myself. (Fibbing doesn’t sound as bad as lying.) I can’t lead myself OR others if I lie.

2. I will prioritize what I value most over what I want now. Successful leaders lead themselve toward what they value rather than what I want now.

In “The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People,” Steven Covey  writes about the Funeral Exercise to help  people discover their values.  What do we want people to say about us at our funeral?  What do we desire our spouse, kids, best friend and community/church leaders to say about us?  Take some time and really think and write about this. This helps us flesh out what we value.  Yes, this takes work, but if we don’t discover our values now,  what we value may be out of reach later on. If we don’t know what is important to us, we will settle for what we want now. Andy said that that it’s the Immediate vs. the Ultimate and there’s a constant tension between the two.

This brings to my mind, The Law of Sacrifice.  We need to let go of things of a lesser value, to attain those things of a greater value. For example, if we want a great retirement nest egg, then we can’t spend all our money now.  We may need to forego the Immediate of what we want now, for the Ultimate of living comfortably when we’re older.

3. I will not attempt to lead myself by myself.  John Maxwell talks about this in the Law of the Inner Circle. A leader’s position is determined by those closest to him, so we need to choose  wisely. Our friends determine the direction and quality of our lives. We can leverage this well by choosing friends that share our values, not just our interests.  Decide to choose a friend and/or mentor who will call you on your blind spots. Choose mentors or coaches who willingly jump in our stuff if we are making unwise choices.

Sometimes, it’s so easy to be tempted to reach for the Immediate rather than choose to go for the Ultimate.  Letting go of things of lesser value, so we can attain things of a higher value  can be uncomfortable or a tad bit difficult.  AND those things of lesser value may be good, but are they the greatest use of our time and talent?  Will those lesser things move us in the direction of the lives that we desire?

Geesh, that’s a lot to think about.

Jan

Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team

For more leadership tips, find me on facebook @janmariemcdonald