What Are Your Competing Commitments?

“Until we deal with our “head trash” nothing is going to change.”

—Jan McDonald, Executive Coach (yep, that’s me!)

Last weekend, I unplugged. I hope many of you did, as well. It’s September already, and I asked myself those 3 questions from last week.  You can see those questions here  http://www.empowermentmentor.com/janmcdonald/unplug-labor-day-weekend/.  The question that I reflected on the most regarded the progress I was making toward my goals. I’m closer, but it’s about those competing commitments.  

There’s reasons why we don’t get our goals accomplished or make the progress we want. What normally happens is we define these things as reasons, the truth is they’re excuses. (Ouch!) Excuses are competing commitments. Let me give you an example.

I  looked back on my year and made excuses that I was really busy, or I needed to spend time with my husband, or I didn’t know how to move forward….blah, blah, blah. When I really thought about it–all of those things were excuses–or competing commitments.

Maybe we really want or need to lose some weight, but tomorrow our friend is having a backyard barbeque. We can’t start until after that, so we’re going to eat ice cream tonight. Besides, think of all the great food we would  miss tomorrow.  Those outside excuses compete with our inner desired commitments. Some of those excuses are just head trash. We choose to let outside circumstances and conditions derail us.  Choice happens in our minds.

For sure, there will always be competing commitments. Some of them will be the same excuses we’ve had in the past.  At least that’s what I found in my reflection time.  Some of the things that are going to stop us from progressing toward our goals are predictable.  We know in advance that  there’s going to be more pot lucks and barbeques. We know in advance that we’re going to have days that are extremely busy.  Our car battery may die. Then, of course, there’s football. Yes, I’m choosing to finish this email during half-time.

I know that it’s easy for me to tell myself that I can do anything tomorrow if I am not up against a deadline. Most of the time, I’m pretty focused, but honestly, I can choose more fun things to do than work sometimes.

What are we going to do when these competing commitments arise?

We can’t make the decision to lose weight at the barbeque standing in front of the table of brownies, potato salad and chips. We can’t make the decision to go to the gym at 5:00 in the morning when it’s cold and raining. Let’s decide in advance what we’re going to do when competing commitments arise.

When we begin to be driven by inner commitments, rather than by outside circumstances and conditions, life will change. We’ll progress forward toward the goals to which we have committed.  We have to remove the head trash; those defeating thoughts that keep us from our desired lives.  We have to come up with a “move forward at any cost” contingency plan when we’re faced with a circumstance that competes with our desires and goals.

One of my contingency plans that came out of my reflection time is to focus on my desired life rather than instant gratification. I kick my head trash to the curb and picture in my mind who I will become or what I will achieve by doing the thing that is my inner commitment.  It’s only been a week, but it’s a great plan. Yes, it takes mental discipline, but that’s a topic for another email.

How are you going to win when an competing commitment threatens to derail your goals?

Winning (okay, much of the time,)

Jan