“Never let your limiting beliefs, your stuff or people define you. Only you are given the gift to do that.”
–Me
In my travels this week, I have learned that many of us are not totally experiencing the freedom that we desire. We’re walking around happily on the outside, but dragging an invisible ball and chain that is holding us back. Whatever is holding us back owns us.
The definition of the word “own” is to possess;
belonging to oneself or itself;
to have power or mastery over;
to acknowedge as to be true, valid or as claimed.
In “The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth,” John Maxwell shares that stuff can own us. As a culture, many have become “enslaved by the desire to acquire.” It’s one of the reasons why we live month to month. We have bought so much on credit, that before we pay it off, it’s out of style or not working anymore. We never end up owning the stuff, it owns us. The credit card debt becomes a ball and chain. Many buy this stuff to keep up with the Joneses, or to fill an emotional or spiritual void in their lives. Retail therapy used to be one of my drugs of choice until I met Dave Ramsey.
Another BAC that owns people is the fear of what other people think. I felt this personally (I know! Who woulda thought that?) when I felt resistence this last week to becoming involved in a small group. What is this resistence that I’m feeling? What am I afraid of? I sat in those questions for a couple of days so I could answer them. I came to the conclusion that I was struggling with my own importance now that I’m not “The CEO” anymore. What is my value now that I don’t have that title? What do people think of me now? And the big one, do I really want to be transparent about my feelings of inadequacy? I mean, really, how’s that going to look on this confident, powerful persona?
Which brings me to another BAC that I have found many are owned by–limiting beliefs. Like mine above. That limiting belief made me want to hide my God-given talents and gifts to protect myself from my PERCEIVED rejection of others. That’s what I like to call MSU–making stuff up, or making stories up. We make up our own stories to protect ourselves from failure or pain and they hold us back from freely sharing our brilliance and strengths. These beliefs own us and keep us stuck. What’s interesting is that many times we aren’t even aware that we are holding back!
Here’s the last ball and chain for this email–I’m sure there are more. We actually accept the lousy stuff that other people say or we think they say about us, as truth. Unless it’s your wife–husbands never believe their wives. Ask Dennis. We give this BS (Belief System) our full attention rather than focus on what’s true and really fabulous about us.
What’s true about you (and the rest of us) is that you were created perfectly in the the image of The Creator. He thought long and hard about you. He gave you special gifts and talents for you to bestow generously onto others. There is a purpose for you on this earth that nobody else can fulfill. It’s been scientifically proven that nobody else has your DNA. Go ahead and own this paragraph!
We’ve given the BAC keys to the stuff, the beliefs and the people that we allow to imprison us. How do we get the keys back to unshackle ourselves? The next time you feel resistence, fear, doubt or “not enough.” Ask yourself why you feel that way. Stay in the question until you find the answer. Trust me, you’ll find the answer. That awareness will allow you to take steps to re-focus your attention on your truth. It’s the truth that sets you free.
Need help? I’m just a phone call away.
Growing right along with you,
Jan
Jan McDonald
The John Maxwell Team
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